And the Frost Takes Over
by Love Brings Pain
Summary: A breathless laugh escapes my body before I can stop it. I can feel the relief, the happiness that consumes me every time I go on these sites because these girls, these angels, are the physical reflection of the thoughts that overcome the girl that I see in the mirror.


...I've lost my motivation and drive to write a long while back. I had little ideas all the time, but I could never develop them. Recently, however, writing has become a stress reliever for me yet again, and I was looking through my old stories and poems and assignments, and I found this fanfiction I wrote for an English class last year and I have decided to upload it, to kind of get me out of this...writer's block zone, I guess. I hope you guys enjoy :)

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And the Frost Takes Over

The words on the page are music to my ears, swaying in sync with the emotions within me, dancing with my deepest and darkest secrets inside the constraints of my mind. My eyes linger on the screen, anonymous as I fill the empty silence of my bedroom with the anthem created from the broken songs and scars.

 _Read me,_ they seem to speak to me like a soothing lullaby. _Read me, unlock the potential within you and strive to achieve what you can become._

Before I know it, my fingers are on my mouse, scrolling

down

down

down

Short lines of inspiration, daily intakes and the word _perfect perfect perfect_ fill my mind.

 _hey, thought id say hi. love the thinspo here._

 _welcome! glad you decided to join! feel free to add your SW_ _n UGW!_

 _Perfection is the goal wintergirls._

 _ran for half an hour on the treadmill. gonna drink a tall glass of water and go go go._

 _When you feel like shit inside, make a little cut and let the bad stuff seep out so all you're left with is the beautiful things that make up who you really are._

 _remember, perfection is not when there is no more to add on to, but when there is no more to take away._

A breathless laugh escapes my body before I can stop it. I can feel the relief, the happiness that consumes me every time I go on these sites because these girls, these angels, are the physical reflection of the thoughts that overcome the girl that I see in the mirror.

My fingers are hungry for more motivation, more strong and broken girls weaving their stories in the infinite Internet web for me to get caught in. Crash diets and tips to lose water weight and quotes are all etched into my mind.

 _carve_ I will not cave in

 _carve_ I will not become a big fat cow

 _carve_ I will be a wintergirl

::/Notabitch/notapig/notacow/nonono/::

I am lost in the forest of illusions and I don't bother to find a way out.

 _I started to really restrict a few weeks ago_ after my ballet teacher took away my solo because the puberty fairy decided to visit and take away the gift I had that I could eat anything and not a trace of it would remain in my body.

I had skipped breakfast, thinking it would be the easiest to accomplish because if I could sleep for eight hours without eating, what would a few hours more do?

"Lia, aren't you going to eat breakfast?" my mother had asked me, a perfectly waxed eyebrow raised, creases forming on her forehead like the rippling of waves. She was sitting at the kitchen table, a plate of scrambled eggs and golden toast sitting before her. Her fork, loaded with egg (calories) paused right at the entrance of her mouth as she glanced over at me, my hand touching the doorknob.

I shook my head regretfully. "Sorry Mom, I have to go to the library," I said, not meeting her eyes. "Cassie said there're books I've gotta read before she comes back."

She waved her free hand dismissively. "That can wait. Nutrition comes first."

I walked into the kitchen, grabbing a granola bar from the open box on the counter. "I'll eat this on the way," I promised, opening the door and without waiting for a reply, I shut it behind me and raced away to the library, tossing the bar into the first trash bin I found.

I made up better excuses as the restricting became a bigger part of my life. I practised my poker face in the mirror every day before taking a shower, forcing my hands to not tremble and my voice to stay calm.

By the time I found my way into the faraway land where the butterflies and angels and wintergirls lived, I had learned everything I needed to go _so I could spread my newly constructed wings and fly…._

From the corner of my eye, two buttons captures my attention like a moth mesmerized by the glow of a streetlight.

 **Log in _or_ Register**

My mind takes in the possibilities. The community sense that this website fills me with takes over the bitter cold I feel, its warmth cradling me and making me feel as if I am within the protective embrace of a mother.

" _It'll really act as a good motivator,_ " Cassie's previous words echo in my mind, " _because_ _everyone wants to be skinny too._ "

Just like me.

Cassie. " _Just think about how wicked we would be if we succeeded_."

Me. " _Do you really think so_ _, Cassie_?"

Cassie. " _Yes, Lia-Lia. The world is ours to take._ "

I focus on the two options on my computer screen, an angel and a devil perched on my shoulders as they whisper reasons for me to choose them.

 **Register**

The procedure is finished before I know it and I immediately post a comment.

 _hey, new here but i think i found where i want to be._

A minute passes; my eyes are glued onto the screen. A message appears under mine.

 _welcome to the community! follow us wintergirl. and you'll be lovely._

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A/N: I had tried my best to write like Laurie Halse Anderson, but I don't know if it turned out like that...but I hope it was somewhat enjoyable to read!

Please read and review!


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